John Thune: “The Line at Dulles”

This is an entirely fictional creative work. It does not represent the actual thoughts, words, or views of any real person. This is satire and literary fiction for entertainment purposes.

March 27, 2026
John Thune — U.S. Senate Majority Leader

The Line at Dulles

March 27, 2026

Flew out of Dulles tonight. Security line wrapped past the United counter and back around toward baggage claim. I have never seen it like that. Not even close. Some of the officers looked like they hadn't slept. One woman — younger, maybe early thirties — checked my ID and boarding pass and I watched her eyes move to my face and I could tell she knew exactly who I was. She didn't say anything. Didn't have to. Just handed it back and waved me through.

I kept walking.

Kimberley called while I was in the lounge. She said the Sunday shows are going to be brutal and asked if I wanted her to pull together talking points for the morning hits. I told her I'd handle it. Honestly I just didn't want to talk about it anymore tonight. She's good, she gets it, but I could hear in her voice she thinks I should have taken the deal. She wouldn't say that — she's too smart — but I know. She had that tone.

The thing is, their offer was not serious. I said that on camera and I believe it. You can't come in at the eleventh hour with a CR that doesn't address the border provisions and call that a compromise. That's not governing. That's a press release dressed up as legislation. And Schumer knows it. He's doing what he always does — making the offer he knows we'll reject so the headline writes itself. I've seen this movie before. I've been in this movie before.

But.

There's always a but.

I keep thinking about the call-out numbers. DHS briefed the conference yesterday and the TSA absentee rate is above 30% nationally. Some hubs are worse. Atlanta is approaching 40. You start losing screeners at those numbers and you're not just inconveniencing travelers, you're looking at real security gaps. Real ones. And if something happens — I don't even want to finish that sentence.

Had a turkey sandwich from the lounge and it sat in my stomach like a rock. Could have been the sandwich. Could have been everything else.

Talked to Kimberley again — my Kimberley, not the staff Kimberley — before boarding. She's back in Sioux Falls already, said the weather's turning, might get one more snow. She asked how I was doing and I said fine. She said "John." Just my name. Like that. The way she does when she knows I'm not being straight. I told her it's just a tough week. She said she'd have dinner waiting whenever I get in tomorrow.

What I keep coming back to is this: I have the votes. The conference is holding. Even the moderates who are nervous — Collins, Murkowski — they're not going to break ranks right before recess. Nobody wants to be the one who caved. So the math works. The math has always worked.

It's the other thing. The thing that isn't math.

I grew up in Murdo, South Dakota. My dad managed a hardware store. If someone told him he had to show up for work every day and they just weren't going to pay him for a while — for over a month — he would have looked at them like they were out of their minds. And he would have been right to.

I'm not wrong on the policy. I know I'm not wrong on the policy. The border provisions matter and the Democrats are not engaging in good faith and someone has to hold the line. That's the job. That's what leadership is.

But that woman at security.

She just handed it back and waved me through.

Two weeks. We're gone for two weeks. I keep telling myself that the pressure will build on the other side too, that by the time we come back Schumer will have to move. That's how these things work. That's how they've always worked.

I just hope that's how this one works.

AFTER THE CAMERAS is a daily publication of speculative psychological fiction. Each entry imagines the private thoughts of a public figure on the day's biggest story. No entry represents real thoughts, statements, or beliefs of any individual. All internal monologue, emotional reactions, and private observations are entirely invented. External events referenced are real; inner experiences are fictional. All content is created for entertainment purposes only.